He Knows My Name

It used to be that I would go to church, get settled in, pull out my knitting (yes, I admit it – I knit during church), and focus my attention on our pastor – Carl Palmer’s – exposition on God’s Word.

A year ago when I was sick and in the hospital – I would often listen via the church‘s web site. As the year progressed, my illness worsened, and I ended up having surgery, complications, and a lengthy recovery – it became somehow – well – comfortable
not going to church.

Healing enough to get to the place to return to church was a big deal. There were times when I would try to make it through a service – and couldn’t. The past couple of months, it has become more and more routine to feel like being in church was where I belonged.

It’s been a tough year….

…emotionally

…financially

…physically, yes – of course.

…relationally

…spiritually

…at the very least.

I’m often asked, “How are you?!”

You know what? It’s hard to answer that one.

I sometimes answer, “I’m healing. Halluejah.”

I sometimes answer, “Better, thanks!”

I sometimes answer, “Getting healthier all the time.”

Most often, though, it’s hard to answer that one because it’s hard to be HONEST, OPEN, and TRANSPARENT.

Want to know what the real answer is? (Sorry, even if you don’t, I’m gonna tell you.)

I’m weary.

I know! I’m supposed to be the spiritual energizer bunny girl!

Guess what?

I don’t feel that way right now.

I feel battered.

I feel afraid.

I feel very, very tired.

I feel a little bit numb.

I’m sorta mad.

And I don’t like it.

Don’t get me wrong.

I’m not mad at God.

I’m actually pretty hacked off at he who opposes whatever is True, whatever is Noble, whatever is Right, whatever is Pure, whatever is Lovely – he, who wants me to NOT think on whatever is excellent or praiseworthy. (See Philippians 4:8.) He who has devoted a lot of energy to encourage me to NOT keep the lines of communication with my Maker open.

This morning at church Pastor Carl continued on in our extremely long relevant series from the book of Romans. You should listen to it. We’re at Romans 10:4-13.

I love context.

I love that God knows me.

I love that He’s not afraid of my weariness, batteredness, fear, anger – any of it.

I love that He taught me long ago to not batten down my heart when these storms come – but to open them up to Him without reserve.

At the end of the message the visiting worship leader (’cause CMBC is searching for a new full time worship leader) lead us in a song that I didn’t feel much like singing – until I started singing.

And then I kinda had to smile.

‘Cause God knows me so well.

And He’s near – even when I FEEL like He’s far away.

I KNOW that I know that I know that He’s near.

He’s made that clear to me time after time.

I need to go back there – to remember anew – that He not only knows my name, but that He loves me beyond what I can begin to comprehend.

And I need to say with each breath that I breathe and with each beat of my heart the most important thing of all: Jesus is LORD.

He Knows My Name
by Tommy Walker

I have a Maker
He formed my heart,
before even time began
my life was in His hands.

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call.

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He’ll never leave me,
no matter where I go.

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call.

That, my friends, is beauty.

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4 thoughts on “He Knows My Name

  1. You of course know Matthew 11:28 – Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

    I’m so glad that the sermon spoke to you and reminded you of such a beautiful truth about our loving God! That message was meant for you and God made sure you heard it. 🙂

    I love that when we’re angry, God has thick skin and broad shoulders. I love that when we’re weak, God is mighty and strong. I love that when we’re sick, God is our healer. I love that when we’re tired, God promises to give us rest. I love that when we admit our sin, God is just and faithful to forgive us our sins. I love that when we don’t feel much like we’re worth God’s great and infinite love, He says we are in that He sent His only Son to die for us.

    God is all things in all seasons to all people. He is amazing.
    xoxo

  2. I love your writes!!! Every time I see “Known by Name” in my in-box…it’s the first thing I head for…to get my portion of wisdom with a splash of humor!!! Ha! This particular piece was what I needed today. It’s so EASY to get covered up by our daily lives…and we lose sight of the BIG picture! Thanks! (((hugs))) stevie

  3. I actually read this in my inbox last week Dina and my computer will not let me make comments at home! I wanted to just say how encouraging you are. It’s amazing to see the faith that you have in our God through all of your difficulties. God Bless you Dina, I am so blessed to know you!

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