When I was six years old I said – I confess – rather defiantly to my Mother, “No! I don’t like it that way! If I can’t do it my way, then I’m NEVER going to eat it again AS LONG AS I LIVE!”
Strong words for a six year old girl! Of what did I speak? Jell-O, folks. It was my annual case of step-throat and my sustenance of choice at that juncture was Jell-O. What I’d do is take a bite, put it in my mouth, squish it up (apparently rather loudly), and then when it was all melted, I’d swallow it. It (primarily the irritating noises I was generating) drove my Mom nuts, and she told me so. In fact, she told me, “If you don’t stop doing that, I’m not going to give you any more Jell-O. Don’t you want to stop doing that?” (I’m sure she asked with a smile. I don’t think I have that much social grace as a mother, incidentally!)
History was made that day – the day I last had Jell-O. What year was that? 1969? Yep… that’s right. 1969.
So here’s the thing. I’m a taste girl. I’m a texture girl. And – it’s sad, but true – I’m a wuss.
There are a whole slew of things that I’m allergic to that will never pass these lips. But, embarrassingly enough, there’s also a list of stuff that doesn’t pass the lips because – well – it’s gross stuff! (Like Jell-O.)
Today strong willed is meeting lily livered head on.
I’m scheduled for endoscopy and colonoscopy later on this afternoon.
Yes, friends – that means bowel prep.
You know, I didn’t mind taking the Dulcolax yesterday afternoon to get the whole *ahem* ball rolling. What’s swallowing a couple small pills? No biggie!
And I think I kinda knew that I wasn’t going to stand up and cheer and ask for a refill when they explained the whole Miralax thing. But who *really* knows what 255 grams of Miralax mixed in a gallon of water looks – and more importantly – TASTES like!
Yeah. Okay, so I only had to drink half of the gallon last night. The other half – as I type.
THAT’S A STINKING LOT OF GROSS TASTING STUFF TO CHOKE DOWN!
(Yes, I’m saying that in my very best whiney voice. My mother would have given me the stern raised eyebrow look for that tone of voice, I’m telling you right now!)
So – being the internet savvy chick that I am, I hopped online looking for insider tips on how to make it more – palatable? Pleasant? Bearable? Yeah, I don’t know what it was that I was looking for – a shortcut maybe? Not a successful foray into the World Wide Web!
So – my strong will is doing a lot of lecturing to my gag reflex as a gulp down the grody half gallon of gunk. My lily livered self is trying hard to focus on the other side… getting past this event in life and looking forward to tastier pursuits!
Phew! Who knew getting older and having a family history of GI issues was gonna be so traumatic!
If you’ve got any insider tips – other than my current vice of putting an insane amount of salt on the tip of my tongue so that I HAVE to gulp down the vile liquid – then let me know – PLEASE!