Strong Willed, Lily Livered

When I was six years old I said – I confess – rather defiantly to my Mother, “No! I don’t like it that way! If I can’t do it my way, then I’m NEVER going to eat it again AS LONG AS I LIVE!”

Strong words for a six year old girl! Of what did I speak? Jell-O, folks. It was my annual case of step-throat and my sustenance of choice at that juncture was Jell-O. What I’d do is take a bite, put it in my mouth, squish it up (apparently rather loudly), and then when it was all melted, I’d swallow it. It (primarily the irritating noises I was generating) drove my Mom nuts, and she told me so. In fact, she told me, “If you don’t stop doing that, I’m not going to give you any more Jell-O. Don’t you want to stop doing that?” (I’m sure she asked with a smile. I don’t think I have that much social grace as a mother, incidentally!)

History was made that day – the day I last had Jell-O. What year was that? 1969? Yep… that’s right. 1969.

So here’s the thing. I’m a taste girl. I’m a texture girl. And – it’s sad, but true – I’m a wuss.

There are a whole slew of things that I’m allergic to that will never pass these lips. But, embarrassingly enough, there’s also a list of stuff that doesn’t pass the lips because – well – it’s gross stuff! (Like Jell-O.)

Today strong willed is meeting lily livered head on.

I’m scheduled for endoscopy and colonoscopy later on this afternoon.

Yes, friends – that means bowel prep.

*shudder!*

You know, I didn’t mind taking the Dulcolax yesterday afternoon to get the whole *ahem* ball rolling. What’s swallowing a couple small pills? No biggie!

And I think I kinda knew that I wasn’t going to stand up and cheer and ask for a refill when they explained the whole Miralax thing. But who *really* knows what 255 grams of Miralax mixed in a gallon of water looks – and more importantly – TASTES like!

Yeah. Okay, so I only had to drink half of the gallon last night. The other half – as I type.

THAT’S A STINKING LOT OF GROSS TASTING STUFF TO CHOKE DOWN!

(Yes, I’m saying that in my very best whiney voice. My mother would have given me the stern raised eyebrow look for that tone of voice, I’m telling you right now!)

So – being the internet savvy chick that I am, I hopped online looking for insider tips on how to make it more – palatable? Pleasant? Bearable? Yeah, I don’t know what it was that I was looking for – a shortcut maybe? Not a successful foray into the World Wide Web!

So – my strong will is doing a lot of lecturing to my gag reflex as a gulp down the grody half gallon of gunk. My lily livered self is trying hard to focus on the other side… getting past this event in life and looking forward to tastier pursuits!

Phew! Who knew getting older and having a family history of GI issues was gonna be so traumatic!

If you’ve got any insider tips – other than my current vice of putting an insane amount of salt on the tip of my tongue so that I HAVE to gulp down the vile liquid – then let me know – PLEASE!

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7 thoughts on “Strong Willed, Lily Livered

  1. Did you survive it? I read somewhere that if you just dilute it a little, drink, then follow up with the rest of the water by itself, it does the same thing with less trauma, but I don’t know if there is any truth to that.

    Hang in there! XXOO

    • I did! It actually was almost kind of like a non-event! I went in to the clinic – they have a special suite for all procedures, got changed into the obligatory gown, got asked all the right questions, signed on the dotted line, then got my IV. A short while later a nurse came and took me to the procedure room, got me hooked up to all of the various monitors, put oxygen on me, made sure I was warm enough. Then five minutes later the nurse anesthetist came in, asked all the right questions again, explained how stuff was going to proceed. The doctor’s assistant (a nurse as well) also came in and introduced herself. Then the doctor came in – reiterated the whys and the wherefores, and said, “Okay, then let’s get started.” They had me turn on my side, then said, “Now you’re going to get sleepy.”

      Next thing I knew – I was waking up and it was all over! You would never know I’d ever had anything done! Well, I do have a little bit of a sore throat – but barely. AND… yay – I’m VERY healthy – completely as it should be on the inside! Woo Hoo! No need for repeat for ten years!

      I’ll admit it – I prayed last night that they’d make advances in the science of the bowel prep in the next 10 years! Significant advances!

  2. Oh Dina…your experience is like mine. I did drink the miralax with Crystal light which helped.
    I was sick of CL by the time I was done drinking it.

    The procedure was the same. LOL….one minute your are sleepy then you are awake and your done.

    I sure missed food for the day though. I was never hungry but I did miss chewing. Glad that’s over for ten years.

    • Yeah – I couldn’t do the CL – I’m super sensitive to artiicial sweeteners and they give me a massive migraine. So – in the end (sorry) – the insane amounts of salt on the tip of my tongue was the thing that worked.

      I gotta say – one does get used to not eating – in some ways – it’s WAY easier NOT to eat, than TO eat – sometimes. 🙂

  3. Pingback: As the stomach turns… Part 2 « Living the DS Life

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