I’ve known her for a long time. Gosh, maybe 15 or more years. Maybe longer? I can’t remember if I knew her before I got married… maybe? Yeah – well, it’s been a while.
We’ll call her Carrie.
This girl (who, of course, is a grown up woman) is truly beautiful. Strikingly so. She’s also one of the most intelligent people I’ve met. She is gifted – works with kids in a way that few are capable of. (I’m certainly not!) She is kind, thoughtful, and sweet.
We’ve never been buddy buddy or anything. But we’ve known each other socially – from afar a bit – and had any number of very pleasant interchanges. To be honest, I’d love to know her better – but as lame as it sounds – life is busy.
Years ago – before my DS, I was the larger of the two of us. Yes, Carrie is morbidly obese. Years ago she (like me years prior to my DS) was a very healthy heavy person – no or few co-morbidities showing up. Word was out in the circles in which we travel in pretty quick order that I would be having bariatric surgery, and that I’d be going to Spain, and it really was life and death – that if I didn’t get the weight off and the co-morbidities under control – my life was forfeit.
Carrie assured me in passing one day that she’d be praying for me. I believe she meant it sincerely – she’s that kind of person. A woman of faith. A woman of integrity. I have the utmost respect for her. And I went into surgery completely believing she would – indeed – be praying for me. A gift that I personally count priceless.
Fast farward a few years… I still ran into Carrie on occasion around our area – she lives close by. Saw her at the grocery store now and then. Saw her at common interest social events. I had lost my weight… she was gaining. My heart hurt for her.
The past few years I’ve seen very little of Carrie. The one function that we both attended for years – she far more faithfully than I – she’d stopped attending quite so faithfully. Why? For one, her health. But primarily – I can feel the very footsteps that she must feel – her mobilty. Any of us who have been super super morbidly obese know how simply standing makes your back feel like it will snap in two if you have to stand a second too long. Or how difficult it is to walk under the weight of HUNDREDS of extra pounds. Or how embarrassing it is to eye a chair and wonder if it will support the bulk of your body – or horrors – not.
Here’s the thing. I’m dying to talk to her. To tell her that there’s hope.
I should back up here a bit. She’s not stupid by any means possible! She’s incredibly intelligent. Maybe even brilliant. The word genius seems completely at ease in her company.
I assume she knows about weight loss surgery in general. (Of course, other people assumed the same about me – only I didn’t!) I hope she knows that there are many types of WLS available. I desperately wish she would ask me about my experience. I long for her to know healing.
If I had the money – I would put it in an envelope and enclose a little card, along with airfare to Spain – and give her the gift that someone gave me those six plus years ago. My heart cries out to God each time this beautiful, kind, sweet, intelligent, wonderful, amazing woman comes to mind – “Please God,” I plead, “Please! Please make a way for Carrie! If you will use me to help somehow – will you make it clear? Will you bless her, please? Will you bring healing for her, soon, please Lord?!”
I am near tears right now as I write. My heart is breaking for Carrie. You see, I remember well the pain… the fear… the humiliation… the worry… the certainty that my life was in jeopardy…
Please God… please.